Using BIP39 to create short pr0n stories

BIP39 is a catchy name for a way to make great big long random numbers easier to write down and enter. It emerged from a need to back up the private and public keys associated with crypto currency wallets. Many of the common coins use BIP39.

What makes BIP39 really clever is that although it’s only 24 words long, further extensions to the standard such as BIP32 allow it to be used to deterministically generate not only the keypair but the receive addresses too.

For extra cleverness, because blockchain, you don’t need anything else to recover your worthless crypto tokens, so those 24 word nuggets are pretty awesome.

Ok, that’s BIP39: Smart, no?

We all do stupid things, yes? I was backing up my Chia wallet words and talking with a mate about how much entropy there is the BIP39 standard (hint, there is a lot!) and what possibilities might be given the word list size is and we discovered that the word list does just about include some verbs making some stories and sentences just about possible if you squint.

A quick google showed a Rule #34 violation and so it became necessary to write some smut. Bonus points awarded for making the story 24 words long and actually being BIP39 compliant – you can use it in any client that uses BIP39 to (re)generate keys from wallet words in this way.

Here is my first attempt:
gym fit pretty nurse split beef curtain quick index finger plunge front bottom wet slide nest weapon into crack shiver decorate crack nut receive

And if I whack those recovery words into (for example) Goji, we have a real key pair.

Please do not send Goji to xgj1ta95r52cfc5nhgs3m0wlcf06fg8mzt3du3tkmwkpp9mfmn0lmv6qfv0ewa as anyone can get it. Kthnx 😉

Think you can do better? Knock yourself out and let me know! The BIP39 wordlist is here:

You will also need a validator to help you with that last word which contains a checksum. Ian Coleman has a great tool here.

Have fun and for the sake of fuck, do NOT use the keys you generate for anything other than fun – they are essentially worthless as an entropy source, especially if you tell anyone!

Other attempts:
gold hair fantasy girl kiss pole give great head plunge tube steak into amazing ginger box blast nut butter over blouse bird cry clap

Best DNS jokes

We all need a good geeky DNS joke now and again, right? But they seem to be a little rare. Not even a CNAME to a good joke. So here are a few I’ve collected.

Google for DNS jokes. Mine is the best one ever. AAAA records or it never happened. (TS)

I had an issue writing a joke about DNS – It’s resolved. (GM)

Such jokes may be spoofed or result in poisonings. (AC)

All too often I try to be authoritative but find myself being recursive. (AC)

Why would I join in with these DNS jokes? Just because ICANN. (GD)

That seems a bit MXd up. (AC)

This certainly propagated quickly! (MJ)