Emergency Guidelines

Scarfolk Council Health & Safety Suggestions*
IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY or other emergencies

1973-1974 Main office building & staff coven

1.Hide under a beach towel or historically accurate cape.
2.Rub a magic, high protein infant on a sacrificial prayer pig.
8.Make a baby whoopsie on part-time employees.

1. Follow the yet to be printed signs to wherever the exits will be built.
2. Though arrows point in the direction indicated by the directional point of the arrow, the direction indicated may not be an accurate indication of the appropriate direction.
3. Shouting, yelling or screaming for help will be viewed as attention-seeking and ignored.
4. Don't.
5. To report an emergency or seek help call 0413-343 (unattended during emergencies & seances).
6. IMPORTANT: Point profess your excellency seat outwards on.
7. For more information please reread.**

6. Hypnotise panicking colleagues with complicated shoe sole patterns.
7-ish. Make the deceased look as lifelike as possible until a trained council taxidermist arrives.
12. Take unbaptised cadavers to the pagan funeral pyre on the 4th floor. Ask for Barbara in the personnel department.

If you meet Simon in the corridor DO NOT give him any more sugar.

Do not anger the WWI ghost!
All accidents will be televised.

Severe Irritant!

Palmists must not warn victims in advance.

Get your burns, earthquake and terror of vaccinations.

* Employees are strongly encouraged to improvise their own safety guidelines.

The emergency doors on all floors are just paintings.
There are no exits.

Scarfolk Council observes a strict equal opportunities injury program function, though in some cases higher-paid staff may use the management-only emergency exits.

** If you cannot read please learn to read before reading (or rereading) this document.